(Doesn't anyone proofread anymore?)
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says (No, really?)
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers (That'll Stop 'em)
Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus? (Hmmm...)
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over (What a Guy!) Miners Refuse to Work after Death (Good-for-nothing lazy so-nad-so's!)
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant (Better than a fair trial?)
War Dims Hopes for Peace (I can see where it might have that effect)
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile (You Think?)
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetary; Hundreds Dead (Time for a mass Mass)